The surest way to guarantee you will lose a debate is to allow your opponent to define the terms, parameters, and worldview that will lie beneath your conversation. If we let them do this, then our opponents have won the argument before it even starts. While they pretend to be neutral, they are not. While they tell us to be open-minded, they are not. We must recognize that those insisting the loudest to us that we must be open-minded are in fact the most closed-minded people on earth. They are dogmatically committed at the outset of all their dialogs and debates to their worldview and value system, and they grant to them the highest immunity to correction or revision. When Christians engage the world of unbelief around them, they must learn to obey this simple passage of Scripture while doing so:
1 Peter 3:15 “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;”
As we defend and present the faith, it is foundational that we “sanctify the Lord God in our hearts” while we are defending and presenting that faith. We begin committed to the propositions of God’s Word and we proceed committed to the propositions of God’s Word. We must not let the opposition attempt to sneak in their worldview undetected.
In the debates over homosexuality, the Bible, the church, and the Christian faith, those in favor of same-sex marriage and of affirming God’s blessing upon homosexuality in general speak quite frequently of “the gay community,” or “the LGBTQ community.” This is a subtle and often undetected Trojan horse which enters into these discussions. Christians must object to the use of such terminology. There is no “gay community.” Nor is there an “LGBTQ community.” Human beings cannot be defined by a particular sin. Please think about this previous sentence. I will restate it. Human beings cannot be defined by a particular sin. Here is the non-Christian, anti-Scriptural presupposition at play in such labels: God creates people who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and etc. And therefore, there are “communities” of such people who are homosexual by nature. They are normal because God created them that way and they cannot be anything other than what God made them to be.
How are we to handle the person who says, as Matthew Vines does, “same-sex attraction is completely natural to me,” and further tells us that this sexual orientation is something he was born with and which cannot be changed? We stand upon the authority of the text of God’s Word. We say to such people: There is no “gay community.” There are no “gay people.” Your same-sex attraction is sinful and must be stopped. God creates males and females. They are designed as compliments to one another. Genesis 2:18 “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’” The word translated “comparable” is the Hebrew word: negeth. It means: “an opposite correspondence to.” When it comes to sexuality, the Biblical worldview is clear: Men are created to be married to one woman and to have sexual intercourse with one woman, and vice-versa. The fact that individuals sometimes experience same-sex attraction is due to the same cause of the desire to commit adultery, idolatry, theft, envy, coveting, and murder. That reason is: the advent of sin into the world (Romans 1:18ff, 5:12-19). The Scriptures identify same-sex attraction as a sin – Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Leviticus 18:22; 20:13. Thus, it is entirely anti-Scriptural and irrational to speak of a “gay community” in the same way it would be to speak of a “murderers community.”
Since the fall of man, people experience the desire to commit many different kinds of sin. Some of those sinful desires are sexual in nature. People experience perverted desires. But why call anything “perverted?” We do this because of the standard set forth in God’s Word. Sex is a privilege, not a right. Sex is the privilege of married people only. The word “marriage” is defined by God as well and it is not subject to modification or change:
Genesis 2:24-25 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
As a pastor, I encounter people who have various struggles with various types of sin. Some struggle with stealing. Would it make much sense for me to “affirm” such individuals as part of “the thieving community?” Would it not strike you as odd if there were kleptomania conferences, seminars, workshops, coffee-houses, and bars devoted to overcoming klepto-phobia? Of course. And so what are we to do with people who come to us and ask, “What about all the people in the gay community? Don’t they need pastors and loving churches too?” The answer of course is, ‘yes, they do.’ But no pastor and no church ought to affirm them in behavior which is prohibited by the Word of God. A “loving” pastor and church will call such individuals to repentance and faith in Christ. No one denies that same-sex attraction is a real phenomenon, just as the desire to commit adultery, to covet, and to steal are real phenomena. But what I do deny is that people must be mastered by those desires. It is the Word of God which defines human gender, sexuality, and marriage, not our desires. Our desires must conform to what our Creator says is right, not the other way around.
And so I urge all Christians not to allow proponents of same-sex relationships either inside or outside the walls of churches to smuggle in the idea of there being a “gay community” or an “LGBTQ community.” Human beings are not defined as the specific sins they commit. And to allow them to get away with doing so is to lose the debate before it starts.